I'm sorry my penis didn't work
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
