Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
