So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
i black out too much to be "responsible"
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
