C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize