Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(716): View more from New York

Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her

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(505): View more from New Mexico

These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.

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(970): View more from Colorado

Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?

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(317): View more from Indiana

I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.

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(419): View more from Ohio

I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win

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