erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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