I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize