Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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