We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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