He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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