Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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