Im at strip club and am horny
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
It's blow job season.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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