2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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