Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
