two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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