i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Randomize
