we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
