You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
