just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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