Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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