let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
