He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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