why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
did you just send me my own nude
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
