I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
