did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
he wants to bone in the snuggie
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize
