Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
