Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
