i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
