I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
