Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
