As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Be still, my beating vagina.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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