Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
