Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
