Three words: puerto rican gang bang
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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