Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I think I won the penis lottery.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Randomize
