With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
