its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
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