saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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