Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
