So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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