You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
