somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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