4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
