WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
