I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
