It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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