so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
