Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
