wat bout pragnant strippers??
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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