would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
