Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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