I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Randomize
