My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
