Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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