Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
why do cheetos always look like penises
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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