I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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