How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
