The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
