1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I want to fling myself into the sun
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
