I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
