And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
