he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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