I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Randomize
