He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
