I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
