coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
